Do your thoughts run in a circle?
Round and round and round they go.
Do they chase the tail that wags them
as they wander to and fro?
Do they claw the cage, looking for cracks,
then patch up each hole and chink?
And rebounding fall with every fighting blow,
as the walls begin to shrink?

It doesn’t have to be this way, though it might just take a breath,
to realize resistance fortifies the chains of death.

Be still …
Let go …
Breathe slow …
And know …
Your mind …
Will find …
The climb …
In time …

These walls … You’re never good enough.
Will fade … You’ll never see it through.
Disolv- … You’ll never find success,
-ing shade … no matter what you try to do.
Into … You cannot do it now.
A mist … You’ll never, ever heal.
Cannot … You’re a fraud, a fake, a cow!
Persist … You’re a toppled spinning wheel.

Your hope- … When he tells me I am good enough,
-ful song … When he says that we can see it through,
and bless- … When he whispers ‘I have done the work,’
-ing long … ‘Death and hell are now behind you.’
Will thank- … Will I listen, let go, follow?
-ful play … Will I breathe into his grace?
To free … Let my heart float up in wonder?
The day … Let joy accept its rightful place.

When you … Just breathe.
Release … Just breathe.
And striv- … Just breathe.
-ing cease … Just breathe.
Let grace …
Increase …
And thrive …
In peace.
_______

Copyright 2025 M. Ryan Taylor

Note: As far as the content … It took a complete collapse for me to realize that the circular loops of thought I have struggled with for most of my life were actually part of a sickness. The breakdown forced me to deal with this and the problem of scrupulosity (a form of OCD that I never knew existed until I sought ways to deal with ‘unwanted intrusive thoughts’ – there are some good books on this out there if you need help). Just knowing that this was a sickness was truly half the battle. Through meditation and prayer, I’ve gotten pretty good at letting these thought loops dissipate naturally, without resistance (fighting the thoughts or arguing with myself), by gently refocussing my mind back to my breath, my walk, nature, a phrase, or whatever else I’ve chosen to focus on as a focal point (playing an instrument is another good example). Sometimes it is easier than other times, but knowing that fighting with myself (shoring up or trying to argue against a thought) is a counterproductive battle that one can only lose (because it only strengthens the neural pathways in your brain related to that thought). The answer is to recognize, but not engage. “Ah, there you are. Sorry thought, I’ve got this other thing I need to focus on. Have a nice day!”

There’s some unusual form going on here … a verse, a bridge and then 4 choruses with a duet coming in the the second and third chorus (like a call and response). I can hear what’s going on musically for this in my head, so I think it will be effective once I get it all down.

Photo: Louis Reed

Post filed under All UkulelePlay! Blog Posts.